Please deal with it....Somewhere else.

When people hurt you, there is an automatic expectation that you will go away to heal. Or just simply go away so they do not have to see any damage they’ve caused….or for others to see. They want total detachment. I believe this is mutual for the other side. I know that is all I wanted when I was hurt by people……for my feelings towards them to be nullified. Sometimes “going away” is impossible when you’ve been stopped in your tracks. Caught off guard. Experiencing shock. It is almost as if you are frozen in place or your feet are buried in tar. You stand in the same dark and unsafe place, you were dumped off at……trying to figure out where you are and which direction to move to.

While many people that tell you to, move along, to, get over it, even; you’ll get through it (with few other words attached), have been through life altering pain themselves…..not all of those same people have truly went through processing their own hurts and healing through all parts of it. Which is why we often get those empty words of advice. They simply do not know what else to say. You begin to also hit a brick wall with people…..repeating and replaying hurts that unhealed trauma brings up in your life, like a broken record. After a while, humans get tired of seeing how sin rips through you. No one wants to see that reality…..then they’d have to look at their own and deal with it. Whether it’s your own sins that caused you pain, the sins of others or both.

At the root and base of almost all hurt, is sin. Being unloving, unforgiving, being selfish, using words unwisely, idolatry, adultery, betrayal, etc. It is all sin. Even the hurt of death. Sin, has caused death to come upon us by way of Adam and Eve…..and is the reason why we need a Savior.

Simply, getting out of the way and quietly handling hurt, is not always feasible for survival. What I have learned about myself, is I am not willing to die in vain pain. If I must die, may it bring honor to God and family. But not over a broken heart that He can mend. I will scream, bang metal ladles against wrought iron, make scenes, start fires…..to save myself before I die in some mess. I did not know I had it in me, until my only two options were to live or die in depression.!!!!

Heal where you are safe, but if you cannot get to safety, quickly enough, do not stay quiet. Do not stay muted. Someone will hear your cries for help. Perhaps if you whimper rather than yell out, the attraction of your pain and needs will cause more wolves to find you, knee deep in tar. They are not there to save you, to keep you warm, to pull you out. They are there to feed off of you and fill their hunger. In your yelling out, there is also anger. That anger often repels sly dogs from going near you.

If by any means you can avoid being in those positions that I was in….do so. I did not make it to this point without feeling like my life was over, for a while. May my experiences serve as examples of what to avoid, but also, how to victoriously come out.

Raven🌹