Grooming Season

There is a pivotal moment in life that we reach, especially after we have gone through a season of drought. Not just going through, but using the rain falls to give life to the unfertile grounds that we are treading on. The cracked earth begins to release foliage, life and restored purpose. From all of that, you have a new and improved self-esteem.

Suddenly, something begins to grow on your grounds. Something that seems beautiful, surreal, and like nothing you have ever seen before. The looks, the scent and the charm of this plant, places you in such a state of euphoria, that you do not even see the thistles and thorns on it.

You have entered: "Grooming Season"

You may be wondering what this means. or, some of you may already know. For those that do not....grooming season, is not an actual season, it is an every day tidal wave of debilitating life interruptions and time zapping, that happens to millions of hopeful trusting souls, every single day. It is a predatory tactic used by: manipulators, pedophiles, and narcissists in order to gain and keep control of their victims. It is a part of the abuse package. Grooming begins when the predator, let's say...a Narcissist, displays a quick and immediate interest. They become consistently involved with the victim; appearing to be emotionally available and safe, always being around, appealing to the needs of the victim that they learned about while grooming the victim, as they put their guard down; gift giving, they place themselves in the position of "Being the trustworthy shoulder to cry on", dependable. They become everything their victims want and need. Emphasis on the need. I will get back to that later in this writing. After much attention from the narcissist/predator, the victim feels comfortable enough to remove their guards, common sense, even discernment. All of the time and attention that the victim is getting, seems too good to be true.....and it is.

In fact, before the grooming even happens, the predator is already on the prowl; watching even stalking their prey, to get a feel for their weaknesses, emotions and strengths, to know where they can fineness their way in and to know when they need to be careful, so their true selves will not be revealed, until it is time to discard the victim. In which case the victim is so wrapped up in the predator that, even when the mask drops, they have difficulties leaving and detaching or worst.....do not want to. That is exactly why the predator grooms; to get victims to that point of complete dependency on them.

Once the victim has given their trust to the groomer, he/she is then able to seclude them from the general population: family, friends, colleagues, even passing up on opportunities that the groomer may not approve of, or passing up on opportunities that takes time away from constantly being present with the groomer. This is done, to take them out of anyone's view, so no one sees the abuse nor will believe the victim when they reach out for help. It is important to understand that, that need for closeness was deliberately created by the predator by way of [Emotional Abuse], they used love-bombing and consistent communication with their victim, to get them hooked, much like a drug. That need for the predator becomes so intense, that all caution is thrown to the wind. It gets to the point where, the groomer will become emotionally affected and upset, if their victim does not respond to them immediately, or when they are expected to. At this point of the abuse, the victim knows something is not quite right, but they ignore red flags. They do not always realize at this time, that they are, in fact, being abused.

An emotional roller-coaster later; one week becomes one month. One month becomes one year, and one year becomes, YEARS. The victim has been worn down. Their self-esteem is low. Their path of life is blurred and confusing. They are resentful. They lost time. They feel used. The predator purposely turned the best parts of them, into doubts and second-guesses. The victim often believes that most bad things that happens between them and the predator, is their fault...because they live through gaslighting, and find themselves always apologizing. When they try to defend themselves, they are gas lit. Everything that the victim was before being preyed upon: their talent, creativity, authenticity, kindness, their care and empathy, their entire character, becomes what the predator hates about them, and tries to destroy. By the time the predator is finished with the victim...if they ever are, the mask drops. Their true evil is shown. They have already begun grooming the next victim, as they are being mean and nasty and/or discarding the current one. By this time, the victim does not even know who they are any more.

Due to the fact that grooming is predatory, and designed with the purpose of quick and intense soul ties and control over ones emotions, it affects the nervous system. Like a drug. The abrupt end to love-bombing through grooming, leaves the victim in a state of bewilderment. The end of grooming and love-bombing has physical consequences such as: stomach issues, reproductive issues, thyroid issues, migraines, high blood pressure, body aches and pains, etc. The psychological problems that it causes are: depression, anxiety, grief, C-PTSD, hypervigilance, etc. Imagine being placed as someone's' top priority during the grooming process, and then kicked down suddenly, and replaced. It is such a betrayal and shock to the system, that it makes one physically ill. That emotional and psychological need for the predator does not vanish when they do. The victim fiends for their presence even when they are gone, like a drug addict fiends for their next fix. This is why covert narcissism is so dangerous and demonic. Any form of narcissism. Any type of predator.

In my next Blog I will be discussing how to overcome this evil, and get your life back and how to avoid this evil.

(Proverbs 4:23)

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Raven