Villains of Persuasion

I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking some coffee and eating my dates, when I looked over at my sons cocoa mug that I had just washed, and the description on it read: "Villains." It was a Darth Vader mug that his Aunt bought for him, some years back. I briefly chuckled to myself and thought;

"Victims of mistreatment are constantly villainized when they open their mouths and stand up for themselves."

The mistreatment is always in the form of abuse, of sorts. This predicament reminds me of a character in the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, that my son and I just watched. This characters name was "Crazy Carl". The residence named him that, because he was the only one that saw Sonic, "the blue devil", when no one else did. Every time he told everyone about it, they laughed at him, because the story was "too out there", to believe. When something sounds unbelievable, people have the tendency to call others crazy or liars......even if the story is true. Having presenting evidence is not always enough when you do not have enough people.

As I reminisce on time gone by, I consider how badly I have been viewed by others. The bad guys with the greater body counts of enablers, are able to persuade those uniformed in cognitive dissonance, that I was the villain, the "Crazy Carl". I remember wanting to be believed so badly and feeling like I always needed to constantly speak on my behalf with troughs of facts. I remember saying one thing.....and that one thing expanding into many, because I needed validation. I even remember reaching out and wanting to reach out to people that knew there was more than one side. That resulted in one of those horror movies, when the victim thinks they are finally safe, by reaching out to someone they thought was safe....enough, and that person or people, worked on the bad side the whole time. I was advocating in the wrong places around the wrong people. I was uncovering information that placed enablers in tight positions also. Being involved with bad people, also meant that they partook in bad choices as well. I suppose it is easier helping the bad guy, in order to keep ones own mess, hidden.

It is true; We become guilty by association.....which leads into participation.

Perhaps I am the villain to others and a threat to more. Good.

I wanted to be believed and acknowledged as the victim that I was....to be validated and free from a depleting fight, to retain my self-respect and dignity, that I lost, dealing with disrespect. I wanted people to know and see that I was not the bad guy. Please be mindful of this, when you hear of victims coming forward after many years. Be compassionate and hold the criticism, because when a person comes forward and vulnerably speaks about the abuse that they went through, they risk losing more, and being more shamed than the abuser(s). I lost people that I thought were friends, I lost having an open writing platform to communicate with other writers, that I used for my peace of mind, since my teen was in pampers, and so much more. However, overtime God restored my losses and gave me better. This is not how other people have handled their own losses, so be gentle with those that muster up the courage to finally speak up....even if it has taken them a long time.

Peaceful? It did not happen like that. With gaping battle wounds, I got back what was mine anyhow. I also kept the title, villain. I grew to like it. This way, when people try to come at me crookedly, or at those that cannot defend themselves, they will already know my position in life. If they do not know, then they will learn.

Raven