Dissecting loneliness - Hikikomori - (Pulling inward; being confined) Part 2

*Severe Social Withdrawal

By Raven Nicolé🤍☕🖋️

An estimated 1.5million Hikikomori live in Japan, Hong Kong and South Korea (PHOTO: YUTA ONODA)

When I first heard of the term ‘Hikikomori’,I was looking into different documentaries about Japan, because I simply had an interest in learning more about their social and economic systems. While there are many positive aspects and changes in Japan, for the betterment of the mental, emotional and physical health of Japanese society; one issue that has not changed is how citizens are viewed when they have not acquired a certain social and economic status. The pride of one’s name and family means more than the stress and feeling of failure on an individual, brought on by the high demands of Japanese success; from education to the work field. So much so, that Japan has one of the highest rates of suicides in the industrialized world. That rate began to drop, then picked back up during the pandemic.(https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-data/h01624/)

Set aside from the hypothesis that psychiatrists have made about individuals becoming recluse: being on the autism spectrum, having high-functioning pervasive developmental disorders, avoidant personality disorders, etc. Other factors that come into play are social and cultural influences. Conforming to Japanese societal standards, bullying, impossible scholastic and career expectations, outrageous work hours with no reward and incentives. Being overly protected by parents…….as adults. All of these issues and more have created Hikikomori.

Many of these adults live with aging parents who become the caregivers to their adult children. It is an entire switch within Japanese culture, as the kids are expected to take care of their parents. This mostly affects middle class families, as it is more affordable for parents to keep one kid at home to take care of them as they age…..providing everything the adult child needs. Therefore, integration back into society becomes more difficult. Those struggling, stay confined, mainly to their rooms, avoid any socializing, rarely have friends, forget how to socialize, become depressed, often neglect their own hygiene, some even die in their loneliness. Below is a video that gives more depth and reason into the Hikikomori phenomenon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL5Ynew72Oo

My closing thoughts:

The more I learned about what Hikikomori was, the more I understood that it did not just affect Japanese culture. Many around the world have become recluse, closed off, lonely and depressed. Acclimating to society became a lot harder than expected after COVID. Having lost businesses, careers, even family, has created a more withdrawn society. Hikikomori has become widespread. When it comes to the Japanese culture, however, I am more frustrated. From my observations, they try to remedy the issue, without correcting the intense socials issues that are sewn into their culture, and the shaming also connected to their culture. It is like, putting new wine into old wine skins……..eventually they will burst. One cannot fix the problem of Hikikomori, without changing an entire societies mindset. For the fact that that is not possible, new laws need to be established that protect and support every walk of life in Japan. Individuality is frowned upon because it does not fit into the scope of their socialism. There are some acceptions, but what outweighs those acceptions is how one performs in education, which leads to what doors will be open as career options. Depending on one's career, will determine how they are seen and treated.

I know that my writing about the issues of "loneliness" does not evoke everyone to want to read about it. I get it. I got it, when I thought of this topic. It is something that we do not like to discuss, but something many many people struggle with. Some of the most loneliest people, are those that look happy and those that are surrounded by many. Loneliness is not popular. It is not a positive topic......but it is something that we all experience. It is a happening in life that makes us feel unseen and exposed all at once.

In order to overcome being stuck and enslaved in loneliness, it is important to know that you have a purpose. It does not end with failure, set backs, disappointments and loss. It is not confined to one space: physically or mentally. Whatever culture you are from, what you feel, how lonely you feel and may be, how hopeless life might seem and look.......it is not over. You are not finished in this world. You have things to get done; goals to reach, people to meet, places to go. You need to feel the sun on your skin, the wind on your face.........and all of this big, yet beautiful change......one small step at a time. There is no rush. There are people in this world, praying for you, cheering you on, and hoping for you.

Loneliness is not your end. 🤍