"Relationships" as an 8th-12th grade Home School course.

By Raven

I knew a girl that became a Mother in her 7th or 8th grade year of school. Others, that were Moms and Dads in High School. One, is currently becoming a grandmother. We are not even in our 40's yet. This is not a critical judgment, but a judgment based on actions, choices and consequences.......for the purpose of teaching, and learning. Stern parents get penalized for being, parents. While parents that equals (friends) with their children, are seen as the parents that "understand", the youth. Kids need parental guidance so they are not growing up faster than their brains can handle. They need rules and boundaries set. They need direction. They need to be told, No. They need to be taught self-control. If the parents display none of that, it will definitely show up in our kids and their choices, a lot mor and a lot faster than it would, for kids raised in a home with order (even though ANY household is susceptible to irreversible mistakes.

We are parents. We are not supposed to be "cool" with our kids, like we are their peers. We are supposed to be reliable, dependable, trustworthy, caring, respectful, nurturing, understanding, helpful, teachers, guidance, prayerful, mindful, loving. They have friends for cool. They have us, for safety, and to tach them what safety looks like in others. My son calls me cool sometimes, but that is more in line with me actually being the Mother that he needs, more than it is.......me being up to date with tik tok trends and new Gen Z slang. I am not cool when he gives up his freedoms due to bad choices.......and has to earn his freedom back. I am not cool when I have to call him out for doing something or saying something out of pocket and very teen'agery and hormonal. I am not cool when I say NO, to his persistent begging. I am just not *that cool parent.

There is a rule at home when it comes to dating besides age restriction, and that is, have your relationship with God in order first........everything else that follows that, will certainly come from a place of Godly wisdom. I am not that parent that sees two 14 year olds as the faces of true love. I am not sorry about that. I want my own child to become a grown man before he becomes a child having a child and being forced to become a grown man. Without projecting too much of my own personal experiences with dating at a young age, it is no secret that a lot of relationships that start off so early on, do not last; "Till death do us part." Kids are not fully developed in their minds yet, to make those long-term decisions. By the time a lot of couples begin to age into their 30s......if they have not lived their own lives and found their own identities, they will begin to feel resentment towards the other.....and this is where relationship and marital issues start to show themselves. Feeling unfulfilled. It is so important for young people to understand the seriousness behind their alone time and coming into their own identities. This can happen while being with someone, but those are exceptions to the rules. Those teenage years, those young twenties are ages where you are figuring YOU out, and actually being established in who you are.

Relationships are the driving force behind many things in life; good and bad. While the good is abundant, the bad is lasting. One of those things includes negative coping mechanisms if a relationship does not work out such as drug and alcohol use which can turn into addiction, others: emotional, mental, spiritual and physical struggles. All of which can be debilitating to any young or older adult. This debilitation can cost one their careers, their families, friendships, even their own lives. Teens and young adults need to be taught about the yellow and red flags of dating too young, dating when they are not prepared, dating without accountability, and choosing toxic individuals.

Having a genuine breakdown of what that looks like stretching over a cours of 180 school days, is something that is important for me to utilize from here on out, in my own home. I chose 8th grade, because any older, teens begin to do what they want, if they were not already being guided in the right direction. It does not matter how "mature" you believe your child is; leave them in adult situations, you are going to get adult results. Most likely, not ones you wanted.

I am not raising a perfect child, nor am I sitting back with my nose up in the air, thinking; "Not MY kid!" I want to make sure that he knows he has better options and healthier ones that not only will God be pleased with, but will give him a better life. Again, we are parents. We are supposed to raise our kids with Godly wisdom, because it prolongs their lives and just Blesses them. Who would not want the best for their kids.

Being a single parent and raising another human, is hard. It is a hardSHIP, that I do not want any kid having to sail and navigate on their own. It is such a situation in life, that not even Jesus designed for Men and Women to be alone in the rearing of our families. Of course He gives us the help and strength that we need to adapt and thrive, if this is the case........but this is not His original plan. I never want to leave doors open on purpose, for my own child to become a young Dad. Not because I do not believe he would not be capable, but I would never want him resenting the blessing of having a family, that his youth was not ready for. Learning his own worth before a relationship ever begins, is opening doors for him to make better decisions for himself, on his way there.

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