::Thoughts::

Being Grateful (Psalm 106:1)

I was always taught, when I give God thanks, my mindset changes. It's true. Life has never been handed to me on a garnished silver platter. I was not born into wealth. I was not raised with many positive influences. Just a handful. I was not graced with a 2 parent home. Addictions had loved ones in choke holds....even had an Uncle succumb to the consequences of alcoholism. I lost a childhood friend to suicide. My only child became very ill when he was 2, due to a slow brain bleed, called a Cavernous Malformation, in his cerebellum. He was in and out of the hospital for 2 years, until he had brain surgery. After that, helping to nurse him back to health, was like, helping an elderly man walk. My son had stroke like deficits for a while, and had to re-learn how to walk, talk properly, chew and swallow. All from the ages of 2-4, even 5. He was a real life warrior. I had to stay in Mom mode and be strong, for him. I did not have time to grieve, the loss of his toddler years, and the pain I watched him go through. I was also earning my first degree. I ended up in the hospital due to stress from taking care of a sick toddler and work overload. I was having heart complications. I had every school book stacked on my hospital bed, because I was determined to complete my education....and I did. Thank God! That was in 2012-2014. The pain of grief knocks the wind right out of you. I have been through pains, disclosed and undisclosed. As we all have. None of us are above the afflictions of life.

However, the one thing that has given me hope through it all, is my gratefulness to God. Had it not been for Him carrying me through all of my troubles, I would not be sitting at my desk typing these words. Being thankful and thanking Him for all He has done....has been my saving grace. I do not always feel grateful. I do not always feel thankful.....but I am. My gratefulness to God is not engulfed in emotion. Emotions change like the weather. I am grateful, because of who He is, what He has done, and how He has taken care of my Son and I. From healing, to open doors......even closing doors for our protection. I Thank God. I thank Him because I am still here. My son is healthy and has healed, and he is brilliant. Life is never going to be perfect, but God will always be. No problem in life is too great for Him to handle. The more I thank Him, the more I feel any heaviness that I may be carrying, lift off of my shoulders. I trust in Him. My hope is in Him. My faith is in Him. If He was all I had....He would be all I needed.

Raven